Self esteem by definition is the extent to which you like, respect, love or hold yourself in high regard. Many feel that they have this important life giving energy in short supply and as a result feel that they are held back from achieving their life's goals due to associated feelings of unworthiness, lack of self confidence, poor motivation, depression, low energy, self doubt and a vague feeling that there is something wrong with them that they can't quite put their finger on. If you ever speak honestly to your friends about this you'll recognize that many are handicapped by not having enough of it. Indeed today it appears to be reaching epidemic proportions. What can be done about it?
1. First it is necessary to understand the root cause of this problem. Although much has been written about this topic, in my view the main point has been missed. That point has to do with how we as human beings tend to identify with the negative events that occur in our lives. What I mean is that when we, mostly as children, are reprimanded, neglected or punished we store these memories inside and then "believe" that what happened, or didn't happen, is in some way a reflection on how unlovable we are. Driving the point home we refer to this stored information and use it as "evidence" to support the belief that we are unlovable.
2. Second you must recognize that these negative beliefs, as well as the events (represented as memories stored inside you) are not only unhelpful but they "do not" actually give an accurate picture of who you really are. If you go into your heart I think you will feel the "goodness" about yourself as a human being which are is direct contradiction to these negative beliefs about who you're "supposed" to be. In that heart feeling you will find your true identity.
3. Finally it becomes necessary to uproot this belief in our "unlovability" in such a way that the belief and the negative energy that goes with it is purged from the mind and body. The process I am referring to here has nothing to do with what might be called psychotherapy, because the latter cannot do this. One could conceive of it as erasing one's "hard drive" of pre-programmed beliefs about one's self and starting with a clean slate.
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