I’ve struggled with acting the victim and the martyr for most of my life. In school it was a defense mechanism; if I was pathetic enough, people would step in to save me from bullies and take pity on me when I couldn’t quite rise to external expectations. As my eyesight, depression, and anxiety grew worse, I discovered that the effect was stronger. I also found that I could navigate new situations by looking confused, because inevitably someone would take me under their wing and show me the ropes. It was all too easy to fall into what I considered to be my “helpless kitten” mode. When it worked, it worked very well, and I was able to manipulate the people around me and make them feel good about it. But being manipulative is rarely good for anyone, and eventually this attitude helped ruin my first marriage. I eventually found myself without husband, home, and job. It was then that I realized how much I had been depending on other people to take care of me, and how wearing that was on my relationships. I felt like a fraud who had asked too many favors, and my helpless kitten persona was no longer quite as convincing as it had once been. I needed to take charge of my own life. I have been working on this issue ever since that point, and there always seem to be more layers. I’d have sworn that I didn’t consider myself a victim or a martyr anymore. And yet, when I started the Elimination of Victim Role Master’s Solution, I was shocked to realize how many of the negative statements I still resonated with. I have been using this Solution already for 3 days now, and each day I become a little bit more aware of how and when my words and actions paint me as a victim to myself and others. Having that awareness is crucial. For example, I recently went on a trip to the mountains and interacted with many new people in a completely new and confusing environment. Immediately the old behaviors kicked in. Except that this time I realized what I was doing almost immediately every time I did it, and I was able to work to correct the issue. As a result I was able to start interacting with other people on a more equal footing in a much shorter period of time than I would have in the past. I didn’t become clingy or sulk in a corner so that I could draw attention to myself. I was able to participate in a way that felt natural without making anyone else feel bogged down or guilty or responsible for me. And that made the whole experience a hundred times better. The Elimination of Victim Role Solution is helping me identify and change my behaviors. As a result I feel more confident, more capable, and less of a burden to those around me. Carrying my own weight is far less intimidating. It’s very life-affirming, and I’m grateful to have had a chance to use this Solution.